What I Want
by Rin Yuki
Summary: Edward and Bella's time together while waiting to leave Volterra and a couple of chapters after that in Edward's POV. Songfic.


**Summary: **This is the first songfic I've written in Edward's POV.

**ALERT: **This is an original story but there is a large part that I took and condensed ever so slightly straight from the pages of New Moon to help the story progress. If you would like to read this story and skip all the New Moon stuff, please begin scrolling when you see this () and begin again when you see this (). Thank you Rin

**AN: **I came up with this while sitting in my room re-reading Twilight for the millionth time trying to figure out another fanfic idea. I hope you like this! Please review!

**Disclaimer:** I never write this in my Fanfics sorry! I unfortunately don't own New Moon or the band DAUGHTRY or any of their songs. Wouldn't it be freaking awesome if I did?

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**_What I Want_**

I held Bella tightly to my side and felt her breathing deeply as she tried to cling tighter to me. I can't believe I thought she was dead. What would I have done without her? That's just it. What _wouldn't _I have dove without her? I had come here to end my life to be with her and I was already much happier to be alive than I had ever been before. How could I have possibly thought that I could have lived without her? How sorry would I have been to make her suffer again if I had killed myself and she had lived?

**It always seemed that I was sorry for the things that I did,**

**But never did a thing about it till I let you in.**

**It's kind of funny about the time that I was falling apart,**

**You came and put me back together, now.**

I want Bella to stay with me. I _need_ her to stay with me. I don't think I can live another moment without her. I have to stay with her at all costs. I can never let her leave my side again.

**'Cause what I want**

**And what I need**

**Has now become the same thing**

**You've been offering.**

**As days go by,**

**I finally become what you want me to be.**

We entered the room where we were to wait until night before we could go. As Bella forced herself to stay awake I let my fingers trace all the familiar lines in her face. I sat there for a while enjoying the joy that her company gave me a while longer before I let my mind wander. I thought back to the time when Bella was wandering the streets of Fort Angeles by herself and a group of thugs decided to herd her.

I know I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't save her. She'll be fine. She's not stupid enough to not carry mace or something with her. She can fight those guys off no problem. I knew I was chiding myself. She was outnumbered and they were twice the size of her. Bella you idiot why can't you be more careful! I began to sift through the thoughts of the men herding her. What I saw angered me to the point of recklessness. I couldn't stand it anymore! How could I have avoided her for so long? My foot hit the accelerator as my car flew through the air to rescue my damsel in distress.

I laughed internally to myself. Had I really done that? Even then, when I hardly knew her at all, I was willing to throw caution into the wind! I returned back to reality and turned to look at Bella staring back up at me. My eyes met hers and I held her gaze for a long moment. Finally, I looked away. What would have happened to her if Alice hadn't had that vision? If we had never interfered? I glowered into space as I thought of the person who had saved Bella. That filthy dog-Jacob Something-or-other had saved my beloved Bella. He had tried to win her over because I wasn't there. His father told her to stay away from me and after he transformed himself he starts telling her the same thing! The very thought of him drove me mad. I hope he never gets to see Bella again. It would be much safer for her not to anyway. After all, I don't intend to leave her ever again.

**I still remember all the stupid things that I've said and done,  
But still, you stuck around with me when all your friends said, "Run!"  
Givin' me a name, I found myself inside all the flames.  
Becoming everything for you again.**

**What I want  
And what I need  
Has now become the same thing  
You've been offering.  
As days go by,  
I've finally become what you want me to be.**

Back in Forks, Bella decided to call a family meeting to discuss the topic of turning her. It was out of the question! The answer is no but I let her play her little game. I'm curious myself to see what everyone has to say, not that I don't already know.

"_All right then, up you go."_

_He helped me onto his back, and took off running. … "I'm just humoring you with this," He motioned broadly with his hand toward the darkness in front of us as we walked. There was something pale and immense there- the house, I realized. "It doesn't matter in the slightest what they say."_

"_This affects them now, too."_

_He shrugged indifferently._

_He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on. The room was just as I remembered it- the piano and the white couches and the pale, massive staircase. No dust, no white sheets._

_Edward called out the names with no more volume than I'd use in regular conversation. …_

"_All right, then Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider," I said coolly. "Let's vote."_

_I looked toward Edward this time; it would be better to get his opinion out of the way. "Do you want me to join your family?"_

_His eyes were hard and black as flint. "No not that way. You're staying human."_

_I nodded once, keeping my face businesslike, and then moved on._

"_Alice?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Jasper?"_

"_Yes," he said, his voice grave. I was a little surprised- I hadn't been sure at all of his vote- but I was suppressed my reaction and moved on._

"_Rosalie?"_

_She hesitated, biting down on her full, perfect bottom lip. "No."_

_I kept my face blank and turned my head slightly to move on…_

_I nodded slowly, and then turned to Emmett._

"_Hell, yes!" He grinned. "We can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri."_

_I was still grimacing at that when I looked at Esme._

"_Yes, of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family."_

"_Thank you, Esme." I murmured as I turned toward Carlisle._

_I was suddenly nervous, wishing I had asked for his vote first. I was sure that this was the vote that mattered more than any majority._

_Carlisle wasn't looking at me._

"_Edward," he said._

"_No," Edward growled. His jaw was strained tight, his lips curled back from his teeth._

"_It's the only way that makes sense," Carlisle insisted. "You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice."_

_Edward dropped my hand, shoving away from the table. He stalked out of the room, snarling under his breath._

They had decided to turn her! I had nothing against Bella being part of the family but why is she so damn determined to stop being human! I can't believe it! My rage consumed me as I easily took down the piano in the front room. I quickly took Bella home after that. She was delighted as I carried her there, a huge 'I told you I'd get my way' grin plastered over her face.

**Don't tell me you saw it all along.**

**God help me, I never knew it alone**

**Guess I was wrong**

**What I want**

**And what I need**

**Has now become the same thing you've been offering**

**As days go by,**

**I've finally become what you wan me to be.**

I sat Bella down on the bed. If she was so determined to be a vampire she was going to have to meet one condition. "Marry me first."

**And what I need**

**Has now become the same thing you've been offering**

**You've taken me**

**And shaped me into what you want me to be.**

_'I **cannot **live without my life! I **cannot **live without my soul!'_- Wuthering Heights


End file.
